The interview

2007-05-06T00:36:00.000-07:00

Hemorrhaging: So tell us, why write poems on your site?

Imperfection: It didn't start out as mainly poems. It used to be just random entries on what I do, what I feel. Rather like day to day stuff. Slowly it became more of like prose, poems. Guess I just didn't want to write about mundane things. Ha. Perhaps it's more of capturing a glimpse of the fleeting thoughts in my mind.And my question to you? How and why did it started?

Hemorrhaging: I started mine based on rationality 'cause I used to own a site where i have to access FrontPage just to update it so the process of updating stuff kinda becomes troublesome and I thought blogging is an easier option and I kinda got sick of the traditional site where everyone talks about their life, I wanted something else.

Imperfection: So, that 'something else'. What makes it different from others?

Hemorrhaging: Well, from the moment you view my site you'll notice it. Unlike most blogs, mine has nothing about myself; it's just art, poetry, short stories and sometimes, a little food for thought about the world. I mean, don't you get sick of reading what everyone else is living their life as?

Imperfection: Ha, for sure. It irks me. I mean, what have u done worthwhile today for you to go on and on? So what do you wish to achieve with your site?

Hemorrhaging: You see, I have this idea that since we can never change the world, the next best thing to do is probably rebel against it. Even though we might not achieve that much by doing so but I hope I'm providing something different for others to read about. Maybe someone else in this world feels what I felt or maybe I made someone feel that she/he is not the only one that felt that way?

Imperfection: Yeah. People who can relate to your site... I guess those would be the ones who feel their world and the one in reality don’t mesh somehow.

Hemorrhaging: Haha. We’re not talking about Emo and Goth people here are we? Seriously, do you hope to achieve something from your works?

Imperfection: Well, emo and goth. I guess these 'groups' would have some things in common. My works, I've always wanted to know if they've touched someone. Like a person who reads it and say 'Is that me?' that kind of thing. I think ultimately, it's knowing somewhere, somehow, someone truly understands how I feel.

Hemorrhaging: Alright, i find a common between us. Somehow, we just don’t talk about ourselves in our site. Would you tell me then, why won't you? Won’t u want to connect to your viewers or something?

Imperfection: I do talk about myself, but I won't make it seem like it's me I'm talking about. Often than not, it's the people who really know me, they could tell the 'subject in question' is me. Connecting to my viewers, I think it would be different for individuals. If they could feel something for what I wrote, at a certain level, that's a connection. And you, why don't you talk about yourself?

Hemorrhaging: Me? It’s pretty obvious ain’t it? I’m quite a boring guy. Haha. No, actually it's because if what I wrote and what I know I'll be writing in the future, some of it can be disturbing and I don't see the need to I.D myself. I wanted a site to rebel and I don’t need allies, you know what I’m saying? There's a thin line i can't cross here.

Imperfection: And this line, do you think you have to censure your works in order not to cross it?

Hemorrhaging: To be honest with you, sometimes I do tone it down because I do have young audiences reading my stuff but I assure you that the content is nevertheless the same.

Imperfection: What about freedom? Don’t you want to write something without caring who sees it?

Hemorrhaging: When I first started out initially, I had that freedom concept all over my head, that I'm gonna write whatever I wanted to, no restriction, no rules, no nothing but as time goes by, I realise that I have to be responsible to some people as well, people who do look up to my site sometimes. I don't want them to think it's like 'cool' to do dark works like such, thinking about morbid stuff and you know, that misconception that we're encouraging people to die.

Imperfection: That's a very misguided opinion. About 'dark' equates to death and suicide. Often, people think 'oh, you do stuff like that' and they give us a label. Why is that?

Hemorrhaging: Because what we do, whatever we have been doing, somebody is bound to find us out and they will take note of us and if they feel that we're misleading the teenagers somehow, they need to take a check. It's like commercialized music, pure guilt pleasure but people still prefer it to real music, but seriously, do you really care about that label?

Imperfection: Me, I never bothered to find out what labels people gave me. It doesn't really matter. But it just makes me feel how ignorant some people are. For us, death probably is a fascinating subject, but we treat it with respect, for we've seen how life truly is. That's the thing they cannot comprehend.

Hemorrhaging: But if someone tells you that your works is disturbing, what will you do?

Imperfection: Say thanks, don't read it then. If what they see, they cannot take it, fine and well. No one ever forced them to read what I write. But if they tell me to change, I'll ask 'Why should I?' What about you, what will you do?

Hemorrhaging: I will ask them to fuck off. This is my freedom and you're pissing on my front porch.

Imperfection: So then, we feel the same way regarding this issue.

Hemorrhaging: Definitely, we did open the site because we wanted a different concept didn’t we? And if a few people don't like what we wrote and we shut it down, what happens to our readers?

Imperfection: Ha. I won't say I've much readers on my site. My entries are rather sporadical. But seriously, I don't think I'll ever shut down my site. If anything else, I'll want to look back one day and say 'Hey, I wrote that'

Hemorrhaging: That makes two of us. But I do have people whom asked me not to , so I won't. Considering the fact that you do have some incredible works, ever thinking about bringing it anywhere?

Imperfection: There were thoughts of it, but I've never taken any action. Plus, it seemed like there wasn't many places I could bring it to. I guess that at the end of the day, even if I only had one reader, at least I've accomplished something.

Hemorrhaging: One sweet reader used to tell me that but i think today i have more than that, like I said , my site no longer belongs to just me , it's also for my readers as well.

Imperfection: Yeah, for all those who understand what it means to be standing alone. But I admire you, because other than words, you have art to convey how you feel. That is something I can't have.

Hemorrhaging: Admire me? Nah, I'm no good. Though being able to draw does bring out the words sometimes but we each carry our own forte. For instance, I’ve always like the way you can put words across visually, that, I can’t do it well.

Imperfection: I guess you're right, we have our own forte. Putting them across visually, that's easy for me. Because it often starts from a picture, a scene that I have in mind. Then I put them down in words. Perhaps that's how I get my works. By looking at the images from my mind.

Hemorrhaging: That's why I said you have some incredibly great stuff and I wanted to bring u up to my viewers. I must say it'll be such a pity if they don’t view your site, cause if they like my stuff, they're gonna love yours.

Imperfection: Yeah. That’s the irony of it. What do you think is the main difference between us?

Hemorrhaging: Hmm. You’re more emotional in your words; I’m more rebellious in it? Because I’ve always wanted to change part of the world that I knew I can never so I wrote it down.

Imperfection: But changing that part of the world, it's like impossible isn't it?

Hemorrhaging: Yeah, that's why I wrote it down. Because that's all I can do about it. Haha. You know how I mock at alot of things don’t you?

Imperfection: Yeah. I do. Like the Emo trend that's so 'cool' nowadays.

Hemorrhaging: That, is something I don't really understand. Emo trends tend to talk about dying and how to do it don't they? Ain’t that like against our moral 'codes' we set for our sites?

Imperfection: Ha, precisely why I don't get it when they say 'You're not much different from those Emo-I wanna die young people'. Well, but as you've said, they are just a stepping board away from us.

Hemorrhaging: Lol, whoever associates me with make-up wearing Emo punks I’m gonna give him one in his eye. No, I’m kidding but what I’m saying is we're way before the Emo trend started and that is a league of our own, not a fashion statement or something.

Imperfection: Yeah. That’s true. I realise one thing, for those who claims 'Emo' just don't really understand what it feels like to really die and live again. Somehow, when you've been that low, you'll know it takes more than courage to stand up and say 'I've survived the worst'.

Hemorrhaging: Let me just say this, talk to any cancer patients and they'll make Emo punks look real bad. They're seriously the ones whom have 'been there, done that.'

Imperfection: Yeah. That’s for sure. Guess they don't really know what's 'living' is all about.

Hemorrhaging: Man, I must say that not real Emo people are killed in this conversation and we're not bias against them. Not like we care but I'm stating the fact. (Just in case.)

Imperfection: Yes. That’s how it's gonna be. I think for those few 'real' ones out there, they don't flaunt it. Not like those youngsters nowadays with their wrist-slashing antics and stuff like that

Hemorrhaging: I met a couple of good writers like u and I'm very certain they bear no scars from razor blades

Imperfection: Ha. You're wrong in this area then. I have them. I've been through that phase whereby even physical pain cannot numb what I am feeling. That’s why I know exactly how it feels like to cut yourself and feel the blood is worth less than sewage. These scars, 7 years and they don't heal. I suppose I can tell all those wrist-slashers, it doesn't work.

Hemorrhaging: Oh man, looks like I was wrong about that but I'm serious about those writers I’ve met, they don’t cut themselves. I don’t too, I’m just morbid. So I guess we’ve met the real one then.

Imperfection: Ha. I regret what I did, so I've got to live with it now. All of us bear scars on the inside if not on the outside; We're all surviving aren't we?

Hemorrhaging: Living on the past, building it upon our future. If there are no scars to remind us, we might just make a mistake twice.

Imperfection: How true. But sometimes, people make the same mistake twice precisely coz of the same reason. Since there's already a scar, why not make it two? Ha.

Hemorrhaging: Hmm. That’s a new way of putting it. I take plenty of guilt trips and memory lanes sometimes. Just to keep myself in check.

Imperfection: Every time you make a visit down the lane, does it seem easier? Or it just gets darker each time?

Hemorrhaging: That's what my next entry is gonna be about, so what I'm gonna say is just 'I'm my worst enemy'. Always.

Imperfection: Ha. Then maybe I could write about 'You're my best friend'. Wonder how the entries will turn out compared to each other.

Hemorrhaging: Maybe you should. Haha. It’ll be like a collaboration.

Imperfection: Lol. Yeah. We should. It'll be interesting to see what we write about.

Hemorrhaging: Alright, let's just finish this off with the million-dollar question. Say if given a chance to take your works somewhere would you and how will you be going about doing it?

Imperfection: If I'm given a chance to do it, I would. I will probably love to make it into a book, whereby people who share the same ideas come together to talk about what they do and why they do it. Put some works of everyone into it and make it into something that really stands out among those 'romance-paperback-novels'. And you?

Hemorrhaging: Sounds nice. Oh well, if you're asking me I'm gonna take on the whole WORLD. Show everyone my stuff and do a few collaborations with people like you and let those Emo boys see who's daddy. (Did i mention I'm not biased against them?)

Imperfection: Lol. So you did. Hopefully one day, we can do exactly what you said. If you ever get to the Big apple someday, I'll be the first to celebrate.

Hemorrhaging: And I’d make sure you celebrate big time. :D

When darkness overwhelms rebel.

The interview